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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?